From 2014

In today’s military, physical fitness is always important. Being in the infantry, you rely on your physical fitness to stay alive. Being a SMURF, if you’re not in TOP physical shape, people’s head can explode. That’s why I’ve made it my mission to explore different civilian programs and see how they get in shape. What immediately caught my attention was the civilian program called CrossFit. I knew that we were probably in way better shape than these civilian Crossfitters, but I wanted to see what it was about anyway.

The SMURF brass thought I was an idiot for trying to infiltrate the CrossFit ranks. In their opinion, the SMURF physical fitness routine couldn’t get any better. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning, we would get up at 0430 and jog five miles in formation. Occasionally, we would do a max set of pull-ups. You heard me right… A single set. Almost every time we had the chance though, we’d do twenty “Marine Corps” push-ups. Which was fucking stupid because all that meant was 40 regular push-ups.

Our physical fitness program was world class. We’d been doing the same workout routine since World War I, and they had REALLY perfected it all through Korea and Vietnam. Warmup with push-ups and “10 count body builders” (read burpees), run 5 miles, do a max set of pull-ups, cool down circle. Very simple, very hard to get in better shape than that.

Alright. Seriously though, the Marine Corps and Army physical fitness routine is a joke. It’s time the old farts in the main office got their ass kicked. Why doesn’t the military do something more about physical fitness? Why aren’t infantrymen tested on their dead lift or back squat? If they can setup a Combat Fitness Test, they can schedule a time throughout the day to run everybody in the platoon through the gym on base to see what you can bench press. Better yet, if you can spend $250,000 on a gym in Djibouti, Africa, you can spend $25,000 on a CrossFit gym on Camp Lejuene.

So what is CrossFit really about?

When you’re done wasting your time on CF, you can join me on the beach for a 6-mile boots and utes.

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Dear little buddy,

Posted: 20180605 in Uncategorized

Your mother and I have had a pretty rough start to the year. I’m trying to build fences in the evenings and weekends. However, the government never makes things easy. Apparently, I’m considered a construction company, even though I don’t have a contractor license. Also, I’m apparently required to have either worker’s compensation insurance on myself or an exemption form for myself that simply says I’m exempting myself from having worker’s comp insurance….on myself. When the worker’s comp investigator came by the house I was building a fence at, I had neither. I was subsequently fined $2,800 because I didn’t have an exemption form for myself. I was shocked and infuriated.

The next month, I had a customer hire me to build a $4,000 fence. I hired a friend who also has a fence and deck business just like me to help build it. He paid a $2,000 deposit, and I purchased about $1,800 worth of materials and spent $300 renting an auger. Jon and I set posts for about 8 hours one Sunday and got them all done. For the rest of the week, Jon put up 2×4’s and fence pickets. He finished Friday. Two days later, on Sunday, the customer sent me an email trashing Jon, said he wasn’t happy with the fence, etc. I went out to look at it. It was built wrong, plain and simple. The only true fix was to remove the entire fence, replace the posts with longer ones and put the entire fence back up. About three weeks later, your mother and I went out on a Saturday and tried to fix the fence. You were at Leelee and Papa’s house feeling sick. Your mother and I worked for about four hours until you got a 101 degree fever, and mom had to leave. I stayed for another four hours. I reworked about 25 feet of fence. I didn’t go back Sunday because fuck that guy. I knew he wasn’t going to like it. On Monday, he sent me another email saying he wasn’t going to be happy with the pickets, with the wood putty covering the additional screw holes I was making. He wanted new pickets, and said I had a week to respond. I didn’t respond that day. The next day, he called me and left a message and texted me and sent me another email asking if I was avoiding him. I told him point blank, I’m not avoiding you, I’ll buy all new pickets. I’m glad I waited a couple of days before I spent $800 on pickets. Some people are just mindless idiots. He called again. He wanted to know if I was even interested in reworking the fence or if I just wanted to give him his money back.

At this point, I’m beyond finished with this guy. However, I left it up to him. I said it would be far cheaper for me to just give you your money back as opposed to fixing it, but it was up to him. He got $1,750 of his deposit back. For some reason, he said I could just leave the fence. The next fence company said they’ll take my fence down. I didn’t explain that great, but long story short, nightmare. It cost me over $2,000 for this fuck-up and dozens of hours of my time over the course of two months.

I was not clear and concise with Jon on how to build the fence. It was my fence and I should have been overseeing it. Jon didn’t have the foresight to imagine the customer hating the way he was building the fence, so he worked for an entire week for free. He paid big time too. I worked on the fence for free. I lost the profit I would have made building that fence or other fences. I never thought Jon was out there building this fence wrong. You never expect it.

That’s the importance of fighting complacency, remaining vigilant and focused. If you have a system or a plan, don’t cheat the system or alter the plan because you’re tired or busy or annoyed. Build a plan when you’re not busy and have time to see all the variables. Don’t rush the plan. Make 2nd and 3rd drafts. Make it efficient and effective. Practice the plan, memorize the plan. That way, when you’re tired and hungry or busy and annoyed, you’ll know what steps need to be taken. Important things won’t get left out.

It was a rough two months, and I partly blame it on trying to do too much at one time. Getting sick didn’t help. When you run yourself too hard for too long, and you don’t sleep enough or eat right, you’re body will rebel. Young or old, you’ll be forgetful without sleep.

I hired a company in Texas to build a website for Yagenrok Rifleworks. Hopefully, it turns into something. Working at Minco, building fences and running a web store takes a lot of hours each week. I’ve been extremely busy this year so far, and it’s starting to pay off. However, you keep saying you miss daddy, where’s daddy?, I missed you daddy, what were you doing? It breaks my heart. I miss you too.

I already barely get to see you. In the mornings, we spend an hour and a half together watching tv and getting ready for school. At night, it’s an hour for a bath and bedtime. That’s all I see you. If I build a fence on the weekend, it’s the same amount of time on the weekend. Luckily, you’re an awesome kid at school. You got a spanking a month ago for not taking naps during the day and having accidents during nap time everyday. Now, Ms. Sandy threatens to call me and you’ve been taking naps everyday. You’re hyper. But you’re the sweetest boy in the whole world. Your mom and I are super lucky and super proud of you.

Kids do keep getting killed with rifles, Sandy Hook, now Parkland. It may happen again in the future. However, for every example of one kid in a school getting killed with an “assault rifle” there’s a hundred examples of people getting murdered with pistols.

My question is – why is there always a huge public outcry to ban assault weapons and high capacity magazines after school shootings, but there is never a public outcry to ban pistols?

The overwhelming argument I hear is that civilians don’t need military weapons, AR-15’s have no purpose except to kill people.

Really? Go hunting deer or ducks with a pistol much?

What’s the purpose for owning a Glock with a 33-round magazine? Self-defense? What’s the purpose for owning an AR-15 with a 30-round magazine? Self-defense?

In 2010, 358 murders were reported involving a rifle while 6,009 were reported involving a handgun.

In 2012, 64% of all gun-related deaths in the U.S. weren’t even murders – they were suicides.

In 2016, 7,105 people were murdered with pistols and 374 with rifles and 262 with shotguns.

Deadly mass shootings have resulted in considerable coverage by the media. These shootings have represented 1% of all deaths using guns from 1980 to present.

Why lobby for an assault weapons ban when they are a tiny percent of the problem? Why not lobby for a pistol ban?

I understand that 17 kids dead is 17 too many. That’s 17 families devastated. Those kids were robbed of a lifetime of joy.

What about the 39 murdered by pistols this month in Chicago alone?

Since automatic rifles are already untouchable and you’re going after semi-automatic rifles now – Why not try to ban all semi-automatic pistols too? I mean, a semi-automatic gun is a semi-automatic gun, right? That would include revolvers.

Typically, I hear many different characteristics that constitute an “assault rifle.” A collapsible butt-stock, a forward grip, a barrel shroud, a flash hider, a pistol grip (only banned on rifles though – not on actual pistols), and of course – rapid fire.

“In general, assault weapons are semiautomatic firearms with a large magazine of ammunition that were designed and configured for rapid fire and combat use.”

You know what I never hear referred to as an assault rifle? A M82A1 .50 caliber rifle. I guess the actual cartridge the rifle shoots is unimportant to most.

Why not lobby to ban all civilian ownership of ANY caliber firearm larger than the assault rifle’s .308 Winchester? (I’ve moved on now from the super popular AR-15 to the non-existent AR-10) No hunting in Florida requires a .50 caliber bullet.

Seriously though, how about this – stop wasting your time trying to ban something that there are over 19,000,000 of (assault rifles that is). Stop wasting your time trying to ban something that tens of millions of people are obsessed with. That’s like trying to ban alcohol all over again. You sound exactly like someone trying to ban cigarettes because A. you don’t smoke and B. second-hand smoke kills 374 Americans each year.

As a whole, we should be focused on the big picture.

Besides, theoretically imagine a renewed assault weapons ban. All production of AR-15’s is halted. Immediately, 1500 firearm manufacturing companies – many of which produce only AR-15’s – would go out of business. Accessory companies like Magpul would close their doors. Millions of people would loose their job.

Then, there’s dealing with the 19 million assault rifles already in existence. What happens when the bill passes and only 500,000 get turned in? More? Less?

What happens to America when the government actually does come for your (assault) guns? Wouldn’t it be less (gun) violent to NOT call for a ban on one of the most iconic and popular firearms in existence? The gun ban Nazis (no pun intended) are getting louder and louder every day. They are irrational in their demands.

It’s not 1994 anymore. I’m afraid for my son’s future.

After the mass shooting in Las Vegas last night, there have been widespread calls for gun control. Hillary Clinton should not be quoted or mentioned in any type of digital or printed media from this point forward. She is beyond irrelevant. A CBS executive was apparently fired for not having sympathy for all the redneck Trump supporters who were murdered at a country music concert. I feel like I need to remind 50 percent of the population (Trump lost the popular vote 65 mil to 62 mil) that we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. The population of the United States is 325 million. We are the 3rd most populated country on earth. China has 1.386 billion and India has 1.322 billion, and I cannot describe how lucky I feel to be living in the United States – even when things like this happen.

Over the last 15 hours, I’ve listened to the radio, watched television and read news articles online. I’ve pieced together, as best I can, what happened in Las Vegas last night. Jason Aldean was singing at an outdoor concert. At approximately 10 p.m., someone starting shooting an automatic weapon from the 32nd floor of the Mandalay hotel down into the crowd of concert goers. Out of apparently 22,000 people in the crowd, 59 were killed and 527 were some degree of injured. After several minutes, security guards in the hotel went to the room of the gunman. A security guard was shot in the leg. Police said Paddock killed himself before a SWAT team breached his hotel room overlooking the country music venue. Police report there being over a dozen guns in the hotel room.

So far, that’s all I know.

At this point, I think it’s important to watch this video by Paul Joseph Watson:

As much as I agree with this video, I don’t agree 100 percent. Machine guns aren’t banned. I own one. I made it myself. The ATF already knows – I sent them a form stating that I had manufactured one. Machine guns only melt silencers after 10 minutes of continual firing – read as “extremely rare.” Also, Mr. Watson mentions that the machine gun could have only been legal if purchased before 1986. This is also false. You can purchase a machine gun just as easily as you can a short barreled rifle or silencer – with a fingerprint card, passport photos, $200 and a 12-month wait for a background check. It is entirely possible that all 20-something firearms that the shooter was in possession of are completely legal – even if some are full automatic.

So there you have it. Nobody, on either “side” of this argument, is 100 percent correct. However, I will agree with Mr. Watson the majority of the time. Especially in this case, liberals are again showing that they are incredibly incompetent. The things that come out of some people’s mouth (or Facebook post or tweets) are shocking. How can they be so stupid? If you ban all guns, what happens to the 190 million guns current in circulation? They disappear? I’m dumbfounded on the internet each and everyday, but not just by liberals. I’m surprised at how soft Americans (even Trump supporters) are getting.

I want to get to the real reason for this blog post – perspective.

perspective

Here are some of the headlines I’ve seen today:

A Burst of Gunfire, a Pause, Then Carnage in Las Vegas That Would Not Stop

Las Vegas Shooting: One Minute Jason Aldean Was Rocking; the Next It Was ‘World War III

The drama that has unfolded today has been surprising. It happens after each and every mass shooting in America. The graphic below was made 12 hours ago, when the death count was 50 and not 59. However, you can see the rest of the mass shootings in the graph. The 1999 Columbine High School shooting had 13 as well.mass shootings

As terrible as it is for innocent concert goers to be randomly murdered on a Sunday night, the media needs to reel in the selective drama. “One second Jason Aldean was singing, the next it was WWIII.” In World War I, 38.8 million people were killed, wounded or went missing. A short 20 years later, World War II saw 73 million more people killed, wounded or missing. “Carnage in Las Vegas That Would Not Stop.” Do you know where in America there is actually “carnage that will not stop?” Chicago. So far this year, 519 people have been murdered in Chicago. The overwhelming majority of them are shootings. In September alone, 56 people were murdered. Where’s the outrage? Where’s the news article headlines reading, “A burst of gunfire, then Chicago carnage that will not stop” or “One minute it was a Chicago Bears game, the next minute it was WWIII?” Where’s the perspective?

The talk of assault weaponry, the term “mass” (as in more than one at a time), the misleading gun control drama that is meant to pull on liberal heartstrings needs to take a sideline to the talk on mental health and psychoactive drugs.

Recently at Florida State University, there was a shooting. Myron May, an assistant district attorney in New Mexico, went into FSU’s Strozier library and shot three people in the middle of the night. Apparently, documents from the investigation suggest that May was intent on ending the mental torment that had plagued him for months. He was consumed with paranoia and convinced he was a “targeted individual” being stalked and harassed.

The similarities between the Las Vegas shooter’s situation and May’s are weird. In this video, the shooter’s brother is completely shocked at his brother’s behavior. He claims no mental illness, no criminal record, no parking tickets, no religious affiliation, no political affiliation, he wasn’t a white supremacist or Muslim. So…why gun down 600 people and kill yourself? Gambling debt? Doubtful. Read more:

The mystery of Stephen Paddock — gambler, real estate investor, mass killer

Perhaps in the weeks to come, we’ll find out more.

Again, where is the perspective? We live in the greatest country in the history of the world. We also live in the relatively new modern age of technology – read as the easiest life for a human to have thus far. We slowly move from our air-conditioned houses to our air-conditioned cars so we can drive to our air-conditioned places of employment. There we stock the shelves at Wal-Mart or type on our computers all day while listening to Spotify or work a construction job at a $10 million company and still find the time to complain about NFL players taking a knee.

“Spreading throughout the Mediterranean and Europe, the Black Death is estimated to have killed 30–60% of Europe’s total population. In total, the plague may have reduced the world population from an estimated 450 million down to 350–375 million in the 14th century. The world population as a whole did not recover to pre-plague levels until the 17th century.”

Ahhhh, those were the good ole’ days. I wish people realized how absolutely easy their lives are compared to historical events. I’ll spend my entire life not having to worry about the Mongols or Vikings invading my country and killing or imprisoning me. Even though I did my time in Iraq and Africa, it was nothing compared to invading Normandy or Iwo Jima.

Where’s the perspective? Yes, it’s terrible 59 people died in a mass shooting in Las Vegas. No, it is not time to ban all guns. What we need to see more of is people talking about how poorly people reacted at the concert. In one of the videos, a lady can be heard saying, “Stay down. Don’t move.” They were laying on the ground in the middle of the wide open among tons of other people. Don’t know where the shooting is coming from? Fine. However, the deer-in-the-headlights look so many people had in the videos was terrifying. No matter where the shooter was at, hundreds of people simply laid on the ground and waited to get shot. Arguably, people were probably shot and/or killed because they laid there and did nothing.

That’s my perspective.

Your Third Birthday

Posted: 20170712 in Mason

Dear Mason,

You turn three-years-old next Thursday. I have no idea where the time went. It seems I have less and less time to do anything now-a-days. I always wake up in the mornings so tired, and I can never go to sleep at night. Today, I went to work from 8:30-5:30. Your mother and I dropped you off at daycare first. Some mornings are better than others for us. Today, you definitely didn’t want me to leave you. It makes me very sad leaving you with basically strangers for 9 hours everyday. It makes me sad and sacred. 

Scared because the world is a fucked up place. Kids get kidnapped from all over. Kids get hurt in all kind of crazy accidents. I just don’t know what I would do if something happened to you. 

Anyway, I worked at Minco all day, came home and gave you a bath, we had dinner and then I went back to Minco to work on your mother’s car a little. I stayed until 10pm, until Mommy texted me impatiently asking me to come home. She always says she has a hard time going to sleep without me home. Honestly, it’s a little aggravating. 

Sometimes in life, it doesn’t matter what you do. You just won’t be able to make everyone happy. It’s not that I don’t make your mom happy, I know she loves me. It’s just that I’m not out partying. I’m hardly making any money at all at Minco. I’m working a second job basically to make KLD work. Currently, it’s nothing. An empty trailer. She wants the extra money just like I do, but she just wants to spend time with me, too. I want to spend time with her and you. I miss you so much everyday. I don’t get to spend enough time with you. You’re hard to manage but I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Jackie makes me feel bad sometimes. I know she doesn’t do it intentionally. She’s upset that I have to work, and she just wants to spend time with me. However, I get the impression that she wishes I wasn’t so ambitious. She gets mad that I “disappear” after dinner, that I want to go work on things after dinner. 

There’s no fucking time in life, Mason. There’s no fucking time to do anything. I can’t read books anymore. I can’t learn a second language. I wake up in the morning and it’s go, go, go. We get you ready. We leave for daycare. I go to work. Jackie goes to work, and it’s busy all day. 30 minutes for lunch. Come home, Jackie spends an hour cooking dinner. You get a bath. Sometimes we put you down first and then eat dinner. Either way, we blink and it’s 8:00pm. Monday through Friday. 

That’s when you can start doing things for yourself – 13 hours after you wake up. It’s 11:44pm now, Jackie’s asleep. I just didn’t accomplish shit today. 

I hope you can understand the importance of time. It’s easily more valuable than anything else on earth. A famous guy (Steve Jobs maybe) once said, “Use money to save time.” I always thought he was talking about being efficient in business. “Time is money” etc. etc. But I spend all my time trying to make money. 

The kicker is – I make shit for money. Again. I’m 33 years old and I feel like I have no fucking idea what I’m doing with my life or how I got here. I basically blinked and went from high school, flew through the Marine Corps like it was nothing, done with college, I’ve been out of the Marines for 6 years and had at least 5 jobs. 

I have no fucking retirement. I have $1900 in savings. (I’ve put all the money you’ve ever got into a savings account for you. It’s got $450 in it.) Your mother and I sold the house and made a bunch of money, just to pay off over $20,000 in credit cards. Somebody should really kick both our asses for that. Honestly, how stupid could we both be? I’ve owed on credit cards for the past 15 years straight. I’m done with them. 

I’ve wasted so much money on dumb shit in my life. The gun company I started is nonexistent. I’ve been thinking about closing it down. I’ve had about 17 vehicles that I’ve wasted no less than $100,000 on – including the piece of shit Dodge Ram that I bought from Louis four months ago and it still doesn’t run. 

Honestly, I’m really disappointed in myself. Mainly because I feel like I’m going backwards physically and mentally. I haven’t worked out in years, and I’m at the same dead end no-paying job I started in 2010. 

The older you get, the less time I have. Sometimes I’m not going to have all the answers and now is one of those times. 

I love you immensely. 

Dad

Dear Buddy,

Posted: 20170607 in Mason
Tags: , , , ,

You’re not so little anymore. Today, we were traveling from Tallahassee to Brookhaven to see BJ & Pawpaw. We stopped at a gas station, and mom changed your diaper in the front seat of the truck. I was pumping gas and Granny (my mom) was standing next to me. Jackie left you in the front seat by yourself and came around to open the driver side rear door. I finished pumping the gas and noticed you were now in the driver seat pushing all the buttons. I closed the rear door to open the driver door, and you had locked the doors. You locked yourself inside with all of the phones and keys. 

You didn’t really have a reason to be upset. You didn’t know exactly what was going on but I think you could tell something was off. You listened to directions from your mother and me for over ten minutes. You pressed the buttons we told you to press as best you could. You picked up the bag of chocolate chip cookies about half way through and I think asked if you could have one. I’m sorry for telling you to drop them. I’m pretty sure you thought changing the gear shift would help. You pointed at it for a while and said something and then went over to try it. It would have been comical if your mother and I weren’t about to lose our effin minds. I could tell you were trying to help. I think you’re incredibly smart. 

You surprise me everyday with things you say and do. While we were crossing the train tracks behind the Home Depot in Brookhaven, you said, “Train tracks!” It caught me off guard. 

I promise I’ll write more often. I feel ashamed. We closed on our house a couple weeks ago. It has slowed down a little, but I’m about to ramp it up again. I’ve got Jackie’s cousin Ben helping me build fences. I’m going to buy a trailer and an auger and maybe start advertising. Some days I really want to go overboard with KLD. Some days I just want to close it all down.

Love,

Dad

Just got to BJ & Pawpaw’s house tonight

Dear little buddy,

Posted: 20160916 in Mason, Rant., Survival

I’m trying to write you more often. It’s already been three months, and I don’t know where the time has gone. Last time I wrote, I promised myself I’d be better about writing. With work and trying to get the house ready to sell, I’m a busy man. In actuality, my mind is much, much busier than my body. Right now, I’m laying in bed unable to go to sleep. The brightness of my phone is giving away my position. Your mother could wake up at any second and nag me about still being awake so late.

Watching you grow up is so incredible, little man. I can’t believe the things you say and do. Your mother and I can’t stop taking pictures and videos. You get very upset, and then very happy, and then very sad sometimes in a short period of time. I was a kid like you once. Then, I was a teenager, and then I started dating your mom. We got married eventually, and now we have you. Nowhere in that timeline was there any kid training. I didn’t read any books on parenting. I didn’t sit through lectures or take classes on what to do. Nobody told me when to spank you and when to not. You don’t listen at all unless I raise my voice and then it brings you to tears. You run crying to mommy like I did more than yell – like I scared you or hurt your feelings. Then, I can’t bring myself to raise my voice for a while. It’s tough sometimes, but only because you have so much energy. I’m 32, your mother is 29, and we are exhausted.

I just want you to know how much we love you. We’ve already made some mistakes. You’re only two years old, but we’re doing the best we can. I know you’ll look back on these one day. I don’t know how old you’ll be. I may hide them from you until you have kids or until we have a rough spot. I just want to say now, to two-year-old you, that you’re my entire life. I may be too old and disgruntled to tell you that when you’re a senior in high school. But I’m saying it now on the record, and I hope you see it.

It’s no secret that my father and I don’t speak. I feel like I don’t know him. That’s why it’s not difficult for me to make the decision to avoid him. I don’t go to my parent’s store. I don’t go to my parent’s house. I don’t go to my grandparent’s house if I know he’s going to be there. I can see how it could be sad and depressing to others, but I don’t feel sad or depressed because he’s like a stranger to me. That’s the sad part. My father is a stranger to me. That’s why I created this blog. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep from becoming my father, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you from having to grow up like I did. Sometimes I just want to break down and relieve all my stress but I can’t. I don’t know how – I wish I could catch a break. My mind races all night and day, and I have no outlet. It never stops, there is always something stressful going on.

Sometimes, I get the feeling that I have no fucking idea what I’m doing. Like my job and my side business is just a sham, and I’m doing everything wrong. When I mess up bad, I get super defensive, angry, I make counter accusations. I don’t take criticism well – either constructive or not. It’s just a knee jerk reaction. It’s because I grew up a fuckin loser. Like I’m sure my dad did too. It’s a defense mechanism.

I try to realize what I’m doing and saying. I try to be self aware. I try to realize how people are reacting. I always try to look at things objectively. Whether it’s about me, my ideas, my business or someone else, I try to take a step back and visualize how it’s seen by other people. I feel like that’s the key to a lot in life. It’s working on my timing, tact, tone and phrasing. I’ve read a lot of books on the subject, but they’re terrible at explaining it. It’s an out of body experience really. My father is terrible about being rude to strangers. That’s one of the reasons why I think he’s a piece of shit.

One time, I was at Wendy’s with my dad. It was just him and I. I ordered, and then he ordered. He hates cheese. He said, “A number one with no cheese.” Except he didn’t say it like you just read it. We were having a regular conversation with the girl with normal voices, and then he sounded like a fuckin pyscho saying “no cheese” so slow and loud while directing an orchestra with his pointer finger. And that’s not half of it. His burger arrived with cheese on it. He obviously knew they were too stupid to understand English and hand gestures so he checked his sandwich before he even walked away from the counter – in front of the lady. And when he saw the cheese, he lost what little patience he was born with. “I said no cheese on my burger!” Except he didn’t say it like you just read it. You’d have to meet 40-year-old Dad to get the full effect. In his mind, he just went out of his way to do these stupid poor people’s job for them, and they still messed it up because they’re too stupid to read. It was embarrassing.

It was just the little everyday interactions like that. Does he know how rude he’s being? If yes – he’s being rude on purpose therefore he’s a jerk on a high horse. If no – he’s a crazy old man that has zero self awareness. It wasn’t just a stressful day for him. It happened all the time in different situations. It happened on good days. He just thought he was better than everyone else. That’s probably the reason why he thought rules and laws didn’t apply to him. I mean, that’s why I had so many speeding tickets growing up. I didn’t think the rules applied to me at all. I just went wild, and I had to learn everything in life the hard way. Now, I’m trying to not learn things the hard way.

Your mother just yelled at me for “waking her up” somehow. It’s late. I’ll stop rambling. I love you.

Dad